In a Chair in the Sky


Well, 7 years behind the cultural curve is not too bad, I suppose. It's really bad, isn't it? If it makes you feel any better, I'm contemplating getting a tatto0 -- sometime in 2012. Before the apocalypse, per the Mayans. Before the American presidential election. Are they connected? I digress.

Anyway, yes, here goes. I blog. Subject-verb. I don't know why this is so hard. And I have to admit, with the customary verbosity: in this moment I feel entirely awash in a kind of uber-socialized, hyper-technologized hysteria.

The story goes: on June 9, I decided to start a blog. Neat story, huh? But as this is my first formal blog post, and as it is mid-August, I hope this confused sense of impeccable un-timeliness is not a portent of things to come.

Since blogging must be – so far! – the iconic self-confessional genre of the 21st century (with Twitter’s Empire of Tweets apparently gaining territory fast), you have every inalienable right to demand to know (even if you are not remotely interested in) the genesis of this extremely personal decision. Note: that last sentence was full of both truth and truthiness; you can sort it out.

So if you must know, I made this paradigmatic decision (that's right, paradigmatic) while sitting high up in the sky in a completely uncomfortable chair all the while amusingly watching other men and women jockey for position in the lavatory line of a jumbo jet. I was approximately 38,000 feet off the ground, so they tell me, and it was then that I -- I just knew.

(By the way, flying over the Atlantic Ocean, as it turns out, has been proven to greatly increase a person's use of words like paradigmatic – even as one stares down at the ubiquitous bread roll encased in a plastic package and looking up at me, desperately longing for a way out of its god-forsaken hell-hole.)

You certainly get the point. I don’t recommend this fly-by-the-chair-in-the-sky method of making decisions. Not normally, anyway. Neither can I, in good faith, recommend that sad sack of a bread roll stuck in its purgatory.

Here I am, however, blogging.

True to the temporal existence of most things, Why not arrange and collate a few words, photos and moving pictures for public viewing along that road that leads wherever it leads, I like to say. Actually, I’ve never ever said that. Until now.

A name? Right. I’m calling this blog -- simply -- elmorelian. And besides a hoped-for channel for this writer's hoped-for development, I suspect this blog will blend Feature Series writing with occasional Commentary and the usual-suspect blogging standard, the Short post.

There it is. Very anti-climactic, I'm quite sure. But at the end of the day, I genuinely crave making dispatches of the world. So I must.

By now I know what you must be thinking: how paradigmatic. Hardly.

Peace to you.

P.S. The first Feature Series, uh, features a few of my experiences, questions, reflections and interpretations while in South Africa during the World Cup from June 11-22. These South Africa-related dispatches will include some accompanying video footage from a nation standing in as an important symbol. Stay tuned: Once you’ve eaten zebra pot pie on the evening after the morning in which you’ve wondrously observed zebras roaming relatively free in a game reserve set within the crater of an extinct volcano, well, you have to tell somebody via cyberspace, right?

Zebra Pot Pie in Pretoria, South Africa from Nathan Elmore on Vimeo.

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