The Deep Interior Places
For Moses, after he killed the Egyptian taskmaster...
What had been present under the surface of his life was now on the surface, and it could no longer be ignored.
He did not walk. He did not jog. He did not take time to figure out what it was or to put his affairs in order. He fled into solitude. Yes, he ran because he was afraid of Pharaoh [too].
Often it takes something of this magnitude for a leader to move beyond mere dabbling in solitude to a more substantive experience. There is some behavioral pattern, something unresolved, something out of control enough, something destructive enough, that we say, "I must go into solitude with this." We thought we could manage it or at least keep its destructive nature fairly private, but now here it is—out there for all to see—and it is wreaking havoc on our attempts to accomplish something good.
We must not ignore this moment when it comes. In such moments, God's call to us is to find a way to do what Moses did—to leave our life in the company of others at least for a time, to let go of all our attempts to fix whatever needs fixing "out there," to leave whatever hope we had of leading people somewhere, and to believe that what needs to be done in the deep interior places of our life is the most important work to be done right now. In fact, to try to press on without paying attention to whatever it is that is bubbling up from way down deep is the most dangerous thing we could do.
Ruth Haley Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership