Donkeys and Private Jets

Donkeys and Private Jets

Televangelist Jesse Duplantis talks Jesus and jets.  Photo: ABC News.

Televangelist Jesse Duplantis talks Jesus and jets.

Photo: ABC News.

When I was a child, the religious community that taught me, that shaped how I viewed the world and its inhabitants, my neighbors, was very fond of saying that human beings must be saved at all costs.

In fact, the tribal elders would urge with a fervent righteousness that Jesus himself called us to go to any extent to save humanity.

Not to mention, every extent.

We were often reminded that heaven, hell, and eternity were not small matters to be trifled with.

And so the task was ever before us—our mission as it were.

No doubt it required any means necessary for the sake of the goal, for the sake of the objective.

Which made all of our endeavors most assuredly of God, unquestionably for God, and therefore undeniably blessed by God.

* * * * *

Well, I am no longer a child.

Inevitably the logic of this sort of religious vision leads to egregious plots as absurd as they are disturbing as they are damning.

For instance—the $54 million private jet that televangelist Jesse Duplantis needs/wants.

You will not be surprised to hear that Duplantis absolutely needs this jet in order to save the world by reaching more of humanity than he could, previously, with his other jets.

You will easily guess that God told him to ask his followers for it.




* * * * *

Humor is our only defense, I suppose.

“The Daily Show” on Comedy Central took hilarious exception to the plot and offered up several gems [see: video], including this one:

The message of God is really important, but only with no layovers.

For his part, Duplantis argued that if Jesus were alive today he would not travel by donkey, he would go by jet, which prompted this take from “The Daily Show”:

The donkey was the symbol of Jesus’ humility. It was the Toyota Camry of its time. And even if Jesus wouldn’t be riding a donkey, do you have to jump straight to private jet? The gap between donkey and private jet is all of transportation!

Hands Free

Hands Free

The Hipster: Model No. AZ865HAT

The Hipster: Model No. AZ865HAT